Field Report: Pulled a bartender’s phone number
This went pretty much by the book, which is great. It was simple. I was at a networking function last night and I started a tab at the bar. I went to get another beer and the girl who got it asked me what my name was again. I immediately teased her about it because nobody is allowed to forget my name! I wouldn’t tell her. The other bartender remembered my name and said it out loud so it was even better.
Later I came up to the bar and got another beer and she looked at me and said “What do you want?” in a playful voice and gave me a big smile. Awhile after that I was sitting at a table talking to my friend on the phone and she was walking by. She stopped, looked over, and gave me a HUGE smile before she continued on. I gave her a little nod and a slightly sly grin. At one point after that she did something and I told her that the relationship was over…we were breaking up. That usually works great!
I was at the bar a decent while longer talking to some poeple and having a good time. I decided to make my move so I told her to get a pen and paper. She came back with it. I told her to write her name down. She did so. I asked her if she ever had anybody analyze her handwriting. She was excited about that idea. She came back over and I told her to write her number down because I didn’t have time to do it at the moment. She said she couldn’t write down her number, but she could write down a number. I told her to just write her number down. Being strong and telling them what to do is what they want anyway. She writes a number down. I talk to some additional people and I leave.
I call the next night and it was a fake number. I was surprised because she gave me strong signs that she was attracted. It’s no big deal; it happens. I’ll just save the paper and next time I go in I’ll go up to her and ask her what kind of silly shit she’s trying to pull… give me the right number. I’ll hand the paper right to her so she knows what I mean. I was extremely confident at the time so I didn’t check it. That’s one thing you can do when you’re there to make sure it’s a kosher number. Just call the number and see what happens. If it’s fake, call her out on it and tell her to give you the real number.
To become a dating coach?
I’ve been thinking lately that it would really be cool to be a dating coach. A guy who has achieved many of his goals and who can coach other guys up and help them to improve their game. If I’m going to be a dating coach, by default I’m also going to be a life coach because of all the self improvement work that goes into becoming better at dating.
I will have to not only have tons of knowledge but I will have to be able to apply it successfully and consistently in the field in front of an audience (my students). I will have to become a great teacher who can analyze my students and point them in the right direction. I will have to be a great motivator and be able to inspire confidence in any man, even one who thinks a situation is impossible.
The main thing I have to do at this point is to reach a level of personal ‘mastery’. I have to really put my all into it every day in every situation. I have to approach women with reckless abandon, be ultra alpha and non-reactive as well as outcome independent. I know what I need to do. Now I must execute.
Here’s a page with some info on how to be a top dating coach. It’s written by a dating coach. (I haven’t checked out any of his stuff but what he says here is all true.)
http://www.ehow.com/how_5039643_top-dating-coach.html
Protected: A Quick Way to Get a Girl’s Number
Living in the moment
You can’t live in the past and you can’t live in the future. You’re entire life is lived right now, in the present moment. It’s important to invest in your now so that your now keeps getting better instead of trying to invest for the future. It’s always the now, baby. If you make your now better, your future now’s will be better as well.
Various studies have been done on how many thoughts the human mind has throughout the course of the day. According to Deepak Chopra (http://www.chopra.com/), the human mind has 60,000 thoughts a day of which 59,000 are repeats from yesterday. How many of the thoughts that you have each day are about the current moment versus a re-hash of the past or a future projection? Try to make a habit out of thinking about and concentrating on what is going on right now. If you spend much of your life thinking about the past or the future, did you actually miss most of your life?
Be present when you speak to people. Don’t let your mind wonder. Don’t worry about what you’re going to reply to them. Concentrate on what they are saying to you. When you make decisions, think about what is going on at that moment. You should find that it helps you in all of your life’s interactions.
“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
Buddah
Never, never, never ever lose your composure around women!! Never let them under your skin. If they somehow do get under your skin, never show outward signs of it. This is much more difficult than it sounds. Depending on what point you have evolved to on your personal development journey, this may require a lot or a little bit of work.
The fastest way to have a woman all over you and in love with you is to always keep your composure around them. (Learning how to keep your composure all at times in your life in general is also very healthy.) To be solid as a rock around her. This branches off into being witty, etc. also but if you don’t have the basic composure underneath it all you’re screwed.
Just why IS composure so important? I’m glad you asked. Enter evolutionary biology to help us out. Women throw “tests” at you to see if they can trust you. They need to know what your “true” character is, because by getting involved with you (having sex) the end result may lead to a child. Is your offspring likely to generate future offspring to keep her gene pool going? Or are you a dud who’s offspring would be weak and not likely to mate with other women, thus ending her gene’s propagation on the planet earth? Are you strong in the face of adversity or will you cower at the slightest hint that everything is not ok? Can you stand up under pressure or will you wilt under the heat? Can you stand up to her? If not, you surely cannot protect her or stand up to another man.
How can you pass these tests? Keep your composure.
As you progress, you can then learn how to throw in being witty and cocky/funny (which is basically being witty) as responses to her tests. They will up the attraction level greatly. You can also ignore them. If she says something that you don’t like, sometimes you can just not respond and act like you didn’t even hear her. Example – I once asked a woman to turn down the window air conditioner in her room because I was cold. She said “You’re so needy.” It wasn’t a bad voice tone, but who knows where it could go if you start talking about it. You do not want to get into anything about neediness (unless you accuse her of it somehow). I didn’t say a word, jumped on the bed and did my thing, while she turned down the air, and everything was fine.
You can also laugh and act like you think it’s cute when she’s testing you (or anytime she throws a hissy fit). You really do think it’s cute. Do not get upset like Napoleon Dynamite would, for example. Act like James Bond, Clark Gable, etc.
The below video clip shows a great example of how to keep your composure around a woman who goes ballistic. The “composed-guy” part starts around the 3:00 mark. Enjoy.
What are some general characteristics of someone who cannot keep his composure? They may shy away from social contact, be stubborn and indecisive, be easily upset by frustration(s), think of themselves as unworthy, become immobilized by stress, be mistrustful and/or prone to jealousy, and they may overreact and have a strong temper. If someone has these traits they are more likely to lose their composure than someone who does not have these traits or someone who has these traits but who has them under control.
Those who can keep their composure are more socially competent, they are less likely to go to pieces under stress or become rattled under stress, and they embrace and pursue challenges instead of giving up even in the face of difficulties. In general, they are the opposite of those who cannot keep their composure.
How I found “The Game”
You’re probably wondering how I found out about the community. (The dating/seduction/self improvement/get better with women/whatever you want to call it/it has a lot of names community.) Below is a brief overview of how I found it.
It was August 2006. I was mired in one of the worst depressions of my life over a girl, of all things. I met this girl on Myspace. I met her on Myspace because I was scared to approach and speak to girls who were right there in front of me. (We call that “approach anxiety. It’s a big issue for most guys, especially when starting out or if they don’t know that it can be overcome/reduced/) She was into me. At the time, I didn’t know how to attract women, but guys who don’t know how it’s done do it all the time. We hung out a few times and got physical. I shoulda had sex with her but I didn’t because I wasn’t really man enough at the time to take control and just do things like that a lot of the time.
OK, everything sounds great, or at least pretty good, right? Well, after a few weeks I became very needy and clingy, told her I missed her, and went to pieces. I became a mess. Around that time I found out that she was an addict of prescription pain killers. She was a mess in her own way. She had gotten clean for a few weeks, but she went back to using. I had successfully pushed her away from me while also finding out that she was a drug addict. Well, guess what I did… Since I didn’t know how to get other women and I didn’t have the abundance mentality that I have now (the mentality that there are tons of other women out there and to just move on to them) I tried to fix her, with the thought that then I’d get her back for me. What a co-dependent mess…
I became addicted to trying to fix her while she was hardcore addicted to her pain killer pills. It was a mess. This went on for awhile until I finally found a treatment that helped her to get off the pills. I did a ton of work for her. But, as I now know, that isn’t gonna make her attracted to me. After she got off the pills she wasn’t attracted to me. I got really upset because of that (I had very poor boundary function… a term I had never heard of at that time) and I did and said some things that made her never want to speak to me again. Well, she didn’t want me and I was in love with her. It was horrendous. It was a very shitty time in my life.
I recall one day sitting at my computer doing searches on dating, and help with women, etc., and I came across a guy named “David DeAngelo”. I ordered a few of his products fairly soon, one being his Advanced Dating Techniques program. That is how it all started!
