Field Report: Pulled a bartender’s phone number
This went pretty much by the book, which is great. It was simple. I was at a networking function last night and I started a tab at the bar. I went to get another beer and the girl who got it asked me what my name was again. I immediately teased her about it because nobody is allowed to forget my name! I wouldn’t tell her. The other bartender remembered my name and said it out loud so it was even better.
Later I came up to the bar and got another beer and she looked at me and said “What do you want?” in a playful voice and gave me a big smile. Awhile after that I was sitting at a table talking to my friend on the phone and she was walking by. She stopped, looked over, and gave me a HUGE smile before she continued on. I gave her a little nod and a slightly sly grin. At one point after that she did something and I told her that the relationship was over…we were breaking up. That usually works great!
I was at the bar a decent while longer talking to some poeple and having a good time. I decided to make my move so I told her to get a pen and paper. She came back with it. I told her to write her name down. She did so. I asked her if she ever had anybody analyze her handwriting. She was excited about that idea. She came back over and I told her to write her number down because I didn’t have time to do it at the moment. She said she couldn’t write down her number, but she could write down a number. I told her to just write her number down. Being strong and telling them what to do is what they want anyway. She writes a number down. I talk to some additional people and I leave.
I call the next night and it was a fake number. I was surprised because she gave me strong signs that she was attracted. It’s no big deal; it happens. I’ll just save the paper and next time I go in I’ll go up to her and ask her what kind of silly shit she’s trying to pull… give me the right number. I’ll hand the paper right to her so she knows what I mean. I was extremely confident at the time so I didn’t check it. That’s one thing you can do when you’re there to make sure it’s a kosher number. Just call the number and see what happens. If it’s fake, call her out on it and tell her to give you the real number.
To become a dating coach?
I’ve been thinking lately that it would really be cool to be a dating coach. A guy who has achieved many of his goals and who can coach other guys up and help them to improve their game. If I’m going to be a dating coach, by default I’m also going to be a life coach because of all the self improvement work that goes into becoming better at dating.
I will have to not only have tons of knowledge but I will have to be able to apply it successfully and consistently in the field in front of an audience (my students). I will have to become a great teacher who can analyze my students and point them in the right direction. I will have to be a great motivator and be able to inspire confidence in any man, even one who thinks a situation is impossible.
The main thing I have to do at this point is to reach a level of personal ‘mastery’. I have to really put my all into it every day in every situation. I have to approach women with reckless abandon, be ultra alpha and non-reactive as well as outcome independent. I know what I need to do. Now I must execute.
Here’s a page with some info on how to be a top dating coach. It’s written by a dating coach. (I haven’t checked out any of his stuff but what he says here is all true.)
http://www.ehow.com/how_5039643_top-dating-coach.html
Protected: A Quick Way to Get a Girl’s Number
Who Will Control the Relationship?
Who will control the relationship?
When you meet someone and start a relationship with them, it is decided very quickly who is going to be the dominant one and who is going to be the submissive one. As you become more accustomed to being in control, you will end up being in control more of the time. You’ll start using the voice tone, body language, and gestures of someone who is in control, is used to being in control, and who is confident being in control. This happens mainly on an unconscious level.
Consider this passage from “Lew Burke’s Dog Training”. The trick here, though, is that it has been modified to apply to humans. Only the word ‘person’ or ‘human’ has been changed out for the word ‘dog’ or ‘canine’ for the most part.
How the human sees itself within the family (instead of “How the dog sees it self within the pack”, for example.) Before starting to teach any human, a teacher should be familiar with how a person thinks. In it’s natural habitat, the wild, the human belongs to a group. If he is not the pack leader, he fits somewhere within the hierarchy of the group. If he does not obey the laws of the group, the leader will make certain that he complies. If the leader is not successful, a new group leader will be born. When we take a human into our homes, as far as he is concerned, he belongs to a group. No human ever turns on his master. Instead, he challenges for leadership. Therefore, if you’re going to be the group leader, you must have a way of maintaining control as far as the human is concerned. You must be able to establish definite rules and regulations which the human as a group member can never deviate from. If you are successful in enforcing your rules 99% of the time you are not the genuine group leader. The 99% control will slip to 95% and then to 90%. Eventually, if the human has a drive toward achieving group leadership he might eventually challenge.
This is obviously an extreme, but have you ever known a guy who had 99% slip to 95% slip to 90% and then eventually she took half, the kids, and the house and completely ran his life? Many of us know guys who this has happened to. Again, this is an extreme case meant as an illustration. To bring it close to home: Ever get into a relationship with a woman where in the beginning you felt totally in control and over time the control felt like it slipped through your fingers and at the same time the relationship got very bad? If I asked you about it, you probably wouldn’t say that you allowed it to happen, but that it pretty much just happened on its own. You were just trying to please her and make her life better and things kept getting worse. One of your jobs as the leader is to keep her in line. Not in any condescending type of way. Not in a mean way. Not in an abusive way. The idea is that women feel safe around a man who is in control and who can put is foot down if she gets out of line, and she feels safe around a man who will put her in her place. She does not feel safe around a man who she can walk over. Just calmly tell her that whatever she is doing isn’t part of the plan and she knows it and to knock it off. She should get the idea and she’ll love you for it.
Emotional Mastery: It is massively important in all aspects of life. If a person wants to reach his full potential, he will put forth effort into becoming the master of his emotions. Achieving higher and higher degrees of emotional mastery will lead to success in all areas of life: personally, with family, with friends, in the business world, and with women.
1. Accept yourself as you are. The way things go down. Don’t be passive aggressive with yourself. Your quirks, your aging, your mortality. This is critical and puts the power back inside of you.
2. Make a personal commitment to develop into a more mature man.
3. Recognize that your unconscious, irrational, automatic, uncontrolled, emotional responses are a barrier between your current life and the one you want. Do not make them your reason for failing. Everybody DOES NOT have that stuff happen.
4. Take personal responsibility for every thought you have, emotion you feel, communication or action you take. Everything. All of them. If something comes up that is distasteful to you, remind yourself that you are responsible for that. You are responsible for generating your experience of reality.
5. It is wonderful to feel emotions very deeply if you choose, but do not be a victim of your emotions during times when it is not useful. Do not let your emotions run your life.
6. Let go of the paradigm “It’s understandable when I become overly emotional in this type of situation because anyone would” and other similar justifications and rationalizations that bring you comfort, approval, and sympathy from others. This stuff is holding you back.
7. The next level – Seeing the loss of emotional control as it happens in the moment, accepting it for what it is when it happens, and then staying committed to growth toward getting the life you want. As soon as an emotion comes up stop it, don’t let it get too big, think about it.
8. Mentally rehearsing the process of going through experiences that in the past used to trigger spontaneous overwhelming emotional responses and seeing yourself go through those experiences calmly and logically detached. Once you can see and redirect them, become proactive and prepare for them and know what to do when they happen.
9. Cultivate and expand the pause between any new stimulus and your emotional response to that stimulus. Do not get caught up in emotional turmoil.
10. Work every day to reprogram your mind and your responses so that you no longer allow outside events to push your emotional buttons and reinforcing your new paradigm, which is – emotional calm and stability is healthy mature and attractive. You experience it all day every day. Emotional calm and stability is possible and it is cool and good. It is possible to develop to the point where you can approach any situation without becoming emotionally destabilized and victimized.
As a real life example of #10 – Rudy Giuliani’s father told him that when things start to go crazy, out of control, and everybody is freaking out, you become the calmest person in the room. Become unnaturally calm. Become so calm and focused that you can objectively see what needs to be done. Everyone will look to you to be the leader. He has done that.
Never, never, never ever lose your composure around women!! Never let them under your skin. If they somehow do get under your skin, never show outward signs of it. This is much more difficult than it sounds. Depending on what point you have evolved to on your personal development journey, this may require a lot or a little bit of work.
The fastest way to have a woman all over you and in love with you is to always keep your composure around them. (Learning how to keep your composure all at times in your life in general is also very healthy.) To be solid as a rock around her. This branches off into being witty, etc. also but if you don’t have the basic composure underneath it all you’re screwed.
Just why IS composure so important? I’m glad you asked. Enter evolutionary biology to help us out. Women throw “tests” at you to see if they can trust you. They need to know what your “true” character is, because by getting involved with you (having sex) the end result may lead to a child. Is your offspring likely to generate future offspring to keep her gene pool going? Or are you a dud who’s offspring would be weak and not likely to mate with other women, thus ending her gene’s propagation on the planet earth? Are you strong in the face of adversity or will you cower at the slightest hint that everything is not ok? Can you stand up under pressure or will you wilt under the heat? Can you stand up to her? If not, you surely cannot protect her or stand up to another man.
How can you pass these tests? Keep your composure.
As you progress, you can then learn how to throw in being witty and cocky/funny (which is basically being witty) as responses to her tests. They will up the attraction level greatly. You can also ignore them. If she says something that you don’t like, sometimes you can just not respond and act like you didn’t even hear her. Example – I once asked a woman to turn down the window air conditioner in her room because I was cold. She said “You’re so needy.” It wasn’t a bad voice tone, but who knows where it could go if you start talking about it. You do not want to get into anything about neediness (unless you accuse her of it somehow). I didn’t say a word, jumped on the bed and did my thing, while she turned down the air, and everything was fine.
You can also laugh and act like you think it’s cute when she’s testing you (or anytime she throws a hissy fit). You really do think it’s cute. Do not get upset like Napoleon Dynamite would, for example. Act like James Bond, Clark Gable, etc.
The below video clip shows a great example of how to keep your composure around a woman who goes ballistic. The “composed-guy” part starts around the 3:00 mark. Enjoy.
What are some general characteristics of someone who cannot keep his composure? They may shy away from social contact, be stubborn and indecisive, be easily upset by frustration(s), think of themselves as unworthy, become immobilized by stress, be mistrustful and/or prone to jealousy, and they may overreact and have a strong temper. If someone has these traits they are more likely to lose their composure than someone who does not have these traits or someone who has these traits but who has them under control.
Those who can keep their composure are more socially competent, they are less likely to go to pieces under stress or become rattled under stress, and they embrace and pursue challenges instead of giving up even in the face of difficulties. In general, they are the opposite of those who cannot keep their composure.
Some tips on getting physical with women
You probably thought that you need to kiss a women to turn her on. That is definitely not the case. In fact, it’s just a belief system of yours that needs a bit of an adjustment. Let’s give you some pointers, shall we?
Be the one to engage the girl, but also be the one to disengage her first when touching. It shows non-neediness and it will impress her, plus it will make her chase after you. It also builds confusion in her mind, which is good. Give and take. You stop things, then re-escalate, then stop. Do this smoothly, of course. Give her a kiss, pull back, and playfully say “That’s all you get!” while you’re rubbing her ass or something like that. It totally confuses them and turns them on. Wait a little, and re-escalate.
Pull the hair at the back of her neck. They love this. It feels good, it’s a prelude to sex, and it’s dominant. Do it when kissing her, or call her a bad girl, say don’t be bad, and reach back and do it. Do not try to rip her hair out! Use good judgement…
Smell their shoulders and neck from behind. It’s primal. I don’t know why it works, but it makes them melt, and they’ll often let you know it. Just get behind them and start smelling. They’ll often get goosebumps and/or turn around and just start making out with you. It never gets old.
Run your fingers very lightly over the hair on her body (arms, etc) without actually touching the skin. It has a neat feel to it. Try it on yourself. It’s different and she’ll like it.
How I found “The Game”
You’re probably wondering how I found out about the community. (The dating/seduction/self improvement/get better with women/whatever you want to call it/it has a lot of names community.) Below is a brief overview of how I found it.
It was August 2006. I was mired in one of the worst depressions of my life over a girl, of all things. I met this girl on Myspace. I met her on Myspace because I was scared to approach and speak to girls who were right there in front of me. (We call that “approach anxiety. It’s a big issue for most guys, especially when starting out or if they don’t know that it can be overcome/reduced/) She was into me. At the time, I didn’t know how to attract women, but guys who don’t know how it’s done do it all the time. We hung out a few times and got physical. I shoulda had sex with her but I didn’t because I wasn’t really man enough at the time to take control and just do things like that a lot of the time.
OK, everything sounds great, or at least pretty good, right? Well, after a few weeks I became very needy and clingy, told her I missed her, and went to pieces. I became a mess. Around that time I found out that she was an addict of prescription pain killers. She was a mess in her own way. She had gotten clean for a few weeks, but she went back to using. I had successfully pushed her away from me while also finding out that she was a drug addict. Well, guess what I did… Since I didn’t know how to get other women and I didn’t have the abundance mentality that I have now (the mentality that there are tons of other women out there and to just move on to them) I tried to fix her, with the thought that then I’d get her back for me. What a co-dependent mess…
I became addicted to trying to fix her while she was hardcore addicted to her pain killer pills. It was a mess. This went on for awhile until I finally found a treatment that helped her to get off the pills. I did a ton of work for her. But, as I now know, that isn’t gonna make her attracted to me. After she got off the pills she wasn’t attracted to me. I got really upset because of that (I had very poor boundary function… a term I had never heard of at that time) and I did and said some things that made her never want to speak to me again. Well, she didn’t want me and I was in love with her. It was horrendous. It was a very shitty time in my life.
I recall one day sitting at my computer doing searches on dating, and help with women, etc., and I came across a guy named “David DeAngelo”. I ordered a few of his products fairly soon, one being his Advanced Dating Techniques program. That is how it all started!
Do NOT be this guy, haha
This is a rather funny, but scary, parody (I think it’s a parody, I sure hope it isn’t real) of a guy filming an ad for a video dating service. You do not want to be this guy. It’s funny, but a lot of guys out there actually have some or all of the core beliefs that he exhibits engrained into their minds and a lot of guys actually act and think like this guy does. NOTHING this guy does in this video is correct, so in that sense, it’s great to watch. Watch it and learn what not to do.
