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Emotional Mastery: It is massively important in all aspects of life. If a person wants to reach his full potential, he will put forth effort into becoming the master of his emotions. Achieving higher and higher degrees of emotional mastery will lead to success in all areas of life: personally, with family, with friends, in the business world, and with women.
1. Accept yourself as you are. The way things go down. Don’t be passive aggressive with yourself. Your quirks, your aging, your mortality. This is critical and puts the power back inside of you.
2. Make a personal commitment to develop into a more mature man.
3. Recognize that your unconscious, irrational, automatic, uncontrolled, emotional responses are a barrier between your current life and the one you want. Do not make them your reason for failing. Everybody DOES NOT have that stuff happen.
4. Take personal responsibility for every thought you have, emotion you feel, communication or action you take. Everything. All of them. If something comes up that is distasteful to you, remind yourself that you are responsible for that. You are responsible for generating your experience of reality.
5. It is wonderful to feel emotions very deeply if you choose, but do not be a victim of your emotions during times when it is not useful. Do not let your emotions run your life.
6. Let go of the paradigm “It’s understandable when I become overly emotional in this type of situation because anyone would” and other similar justifications and rationalizations that bring you comfort, approval, and sympathy from others. This stuff is holding you back.
7. The next level – Seeing the loss of emotional control as it happens in the moment, accepting it for what it is when it happens, and then staying committed to growth toward getting the life you want. As soon as an emotion comes up stop it, don’t let it get too big, think about it.
8. Mentally rehearsing the process of going through experiences that in the past used to trigger spontaneous overwhelming emotional responses and seeing yourself go through those experiences calmly and logically detached. Once you can see and redirect them, become proactive and prepare for them and know what to do when they happen.
9. Cultivate and expand the pause between any new stimulus and your emotional response to that stimulus. Do not get caught up in emotional turmoil.
10. Work every day to reprogram your mind and your responses so that you no longer allow outside events to push your emotional buttons and reinforcing your new paradigm, which is – emotional calm and stability is healthy mature and attractive. You experience it all day every day. Emotional calm and stability is possible and it is cool and good. It is possible to develop to the point where you can approach any situation without becoming emotionally destabilized and victimized.
As a real life example of #10 – Rudy Giuliani’s father told him that when things start to go crazy, out of control, and everybody is freaking out, you become the calmest person in the room. Become unnaturally calm. Become so calm and focused that you can objectively see what needs to be done. Everyone will look to you to be the leader. He has done that.
Never, never, never ever lose your composure around women!! Never let them under your skin. If they somehow do get under your skin, never show outward signs of it. This is much more difficult than it sounds. Depending on what point you have evolved to on your personal development journey, this may require a lot or a little bit of work.
The fastest way to have a woman all over you and in love with you is to always keep your composure around them. (Learning how to keep your composure all at times in your life in general is also very healthy.) To be solid as a rock around her. This branches off into being witty, etc. also but if you don’t have the basic composure underneath it all you’re screwed.
Just why IS composure so important? I’m glad you asked. Enter evolutionary biology to help us out. Women throw “tests” at you to see if they can trust you. They need to know what your “true” character is, because by getting involved with you (having sex) the end result may lead to a child. Is your offspring likely to generate future offspring to keep her gene pool going? Or are you a dud who’s offspring would be weak and not likely to mate with other women, thus ending her gene’s propagation on the planet earth? Are you strong in the face of adversity or will you cower at the slightest hint that everything is not ok? Can you stand up under pressure or will you wilt under the heat? Can you stand up to her? If not, you surely cannot protect her or stand up to another man.
How can you pass these tests? Keep your composure.
As you progress, you can then learn how to throw in being witty and cocky/funny (which is basically being witty) as responses to her tests. They will up the attraction level greatly. You can also ignore them. If she says something that you don’t like, sometimes you can just not respond and act like you didn’t even hear her. Example – I once asked a woman to turn down the window air conditioner in her room because I was cold. She said “You’re so needy.” It wasn’t a bad voice tone, but who knows where it could go if you start talking about it. You do not want to get into anything about neediness (unless you accuse her of it somehow). I didn’t say a word, jumped on the bed and did my thing, while she turned down the air, and everything was fine.
You can also laugh and act like you think it’s cute when she’s testing you (or anytime she throws a hissy fit). You really do think it’s cute. Do not get upset like Napoleon Dynamite would, for example. Act like James Bond, Clark Gable, etc.
The below video clip shows a great example of how to keep your composure around a woman who goes ballistic. The “composed-guy” part starts around the 3:00 mark. Enjoy.
What are some general characteristics of someone who cannot keep his composure? They may shy away from social contact, be stubborn and indecisive, be easily upset by frustration(s), think of themselves as unworthy, become immobilized by stress, be mistrustful and/or prone to jealousy, and they may overreact and have a strong temper. If someone has these traits they are more likely to lose their composure than someone who does not have these traits or someone who has these traits but who has them under control.
Those who can keep their composure are more socially competent, they are less likely to go to pieces under stress or become rattled under stress, and they embrace and pursue challenges instead of giving up even in the face of difficulties. In general, they are the opposite of those who cannot keep their composure.
Some tips on getting physical with women
You probably thought that you need to kiss a women to turn her on. That is definitely not the case. In fact, it’s just a belief system of yours that needs a bit of an adjustment. Let’s give you some pointers, shall we?
Be the one to engage the girl, but also be the one to disengage her first when touching. It shows non-neediness and it will impress her, plus it will make her chase after you. It also builds confusion in her mind, which is good. Give and take. You stop things, then re-escalate, then stop. Do this smoothly, of course. Give her a kiss, pull back, and playfully say “That’s all you get!” while you’re rubbing her ass or something like that. It totally confuses them and turns them on. Wait a little, and re-escalate.
Pull the hair at the back of her neck. They love this. It feels good, it’s a prelude to sex, and it’s dominant. Do it when kissing her, or call her a bad girl, say don’t be bad, and reach back and do it. Do not try to rip her hair out! Use good judgement…
Smell their shoulders and neck from behind. It’s primal. I don’t know why it works, but it makes them melt, and they’ll often let you know it. Just get behind them and start smelling. They’ll often get goosebumps and/or turn around and just start making out with you. It never gets old.
Run your fingers very lightly over the hair on her body (arms, etc) without actually touching the skin. It has a neat feel to it. Try it on yourself. It’s different and she’ll like it.
How I found “The Game”
You’re probably wondering how I found out about the community. (The dating/seduction/self improvement/get better with women/whatever you want to call it/it has a lot of names community.) Below is a brief overview of how I found it.
It was August 2006. I was mired in one of the worst depressions of my life over a girl, of all things. I met this girl on Myspace. I met her on Myspace because I was scared to approach and speak to girls who were right there in front of me. (We call that “approach anxiety. It’s a big issue for most guys, especially when starting out or if they don’t know that it can be overcome/reduced/) She was into me. At the time, I didn’t know how to attract women, but guys who don’t know how it’s done do it all the time. We hung out a few times and got physical. I shoulda had sex with her but I didn’t because I wasn’t really man enough at the time to take control and just do things like that a lot of the time.
OK, everything sounds great, or at least pretty good, right? Well, after a few weeks I became very needy and clingy, told her I missed her, and went to pieces. I became a mess. Around that time I found out that she was an addict of prescription pain killers. She was a mess in her own way. She had gotten clean for a few weeks, but she went back to using. I had successfully pushed her away from me while also finding out that she was a drug addict. Well, guess what I did… Since I didn’t know how to get other women and I didn’t have the abundance mentality that I have now (the mentality that there are tons of other women out there and to just move on to them) I tried to fix her, with the thought that then I’d get her back for me. What a co-dependent mess…
I became addicted to trying to fix her while she was hardcore addicted to her pain killer pills. It was a mess. This went on for awhile until I finally found a treatment that helped her to get off the pills. I did a ton of work for her. But, as I now know, that isn’t gonna make her attracted to me. After she got off the pills she wasn’t attracted to me. I got really upset because of that (I had very poor boundary function… a term I had never heard of at that time) and I did and said some things that made her never want to speak to me again. Well, she didn’t want me and I was in love with her. It was horrendous. It was a very shitty time in my life.
I recall one day sitting at my computer doing searches on dating, and help with women, etc., and I came across a guy named “David DeAngelo”. I ordered a few of his products fairly soon, one being his Advanced Dating Techniques program. That is how it all started!
Do NOT be this guy, haha
This is a rather funny, but scary, parody (I think it’s a parody, I sure hope it isn’t real) of a guy filming an ad for a video dating service. You do not want to be this guy. It’s funny, but a lot of guys out there actually have some or all of the core beliefs that he exhibits engrained into their minds and a lot of guys actually act and think like this guy does. NOTHING this guy does in this video is correct, so in that sense, it’s great to watch. Watch it and learn what not to do.
I’m going to keep this very simple and rather self explanatory. I learned this from Brad P. You’re probably going to laugh, but concept is so important that it’s worth repeating. Following this simple concept will help you everytime, all the time in your interactions with women.
1. Don’t be needy.
2. Don’t be needy.
3. Don’t be needy.
4. Don’t be needy.
5. Don’t be needy.
6. Don’t be needy.
7. Don’t ber needy.
8. Don’t be needy.
9. Don’t be needy.
10. Don’t be needy.
Bonus! 11. Don’t be needy!!
Sex God Method by Daniel Rose
I’ve read some great stuff about sexual techniques by David Shade. His stuff has come in very handy! I was on RSD’s forums recently and someone was asking about how to get better at sex. A few guys told him to read “Sex God Method” by Daniel Rose. I’m going to check it out and see what it has to offer and report back on it. Apparently the method itself covers four main areas, Dominance, Emotion, Variety, and Immersion. He covers a lot of other stuff including ‘building open relationships’ and ‘finding the right girl’ and he also has a whole section on fantasies.
Widgets, like SEO Booster Lite
I have learned a ton about Wordpress so far, including the plugins and widgets. Some of what I’ve learned covers search engine optimization, aka SEO. I downloaded and installed a program called SEO Booster Lite.
Here’s what it does:
“The plugin detects and collects visits by users from search engines, especially from those pages listed on page two of the search engine.
By adding the provided widget in your WordPress blog, it will present site-wide links to these pages with the search terms it has detected, and by adding site-wide links to the posts with the search term from the search engine, it will attempt to boost those pages from page 2 to page 1.”
Here’s the page link: http://mywordpress.com/first-results-from-seo-booster/
We’ll see what it does. There is proof on the page that it does work. This is all some cool experimentation so I am learning a ton no matter what.
